I Tried To Sneak Into His Suitcase But He Caught Me

My daddy is gone again. I tried to be a castaway in his suitcase, but he kicked me out. It's not fair! Who will play FUD with me? Mommy sucks at it. And now Mommy will be all bitchy again with daddy out of town. My daddy didn't spend much time with me while he was home either! I think I am mad about this.

He kept taking my mommy on dates. What am I, chopped tuna? He had to take Mommy out to dinner, out for wine, out for massages, out for lunch, out to grocery shop for Mommy, cleaning the house for Mommy...Mommy, mommy, mommy! Always pampering Mommy! What about The Traz?

And nobody has taken me to see my grandparents and my uncle Jimmy in a couple weeks. What's up with that? I think Aunty Monica is my favorite person now. At least she's funny!